:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
