smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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