Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
