I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
