just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
