Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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