and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Randomize
