how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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