that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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