4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
people are starting to question the shark bite story
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
