The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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