so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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