Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
