all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
