her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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