Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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