well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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