I saw his package. It spoke to me.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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