so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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