Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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