What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
