ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
