She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
