We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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