Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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