oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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