But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
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if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
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literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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