there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
