everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
sarcasm needs its own font
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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