Having a random hookup so left but love u
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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