I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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