We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
