This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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