I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
