Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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