He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
