Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
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She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
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so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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