By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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