Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
