just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
