Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You were trust falling into bushes
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
