I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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