I can tuck mytits in my pants
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize