i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
