I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
