At least make sure they are 18
Why
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
