Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
