Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
