maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
