what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
