wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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