But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
