i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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