he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
