4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
