Swine flu. Run for my life!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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