My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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