I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
