She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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