My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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