I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
